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I think we can talk now. You got like… half a minute until I lose concentration?
Jailbreak! Our heroes have been taken captive by the Kobold Defense League and need to escape — with The John Johnson and his Merry Men in tow. Will they make it out unseen?
Probably not.
Just a little girl with grand designs…
Kobolds and mine carts and trolls! Our heroes find themselves in over their upside-down heads as they plummet deeper into the lair. Separated and forlorn, will they find their way safely back together?
Probably not.
You do that again and I will send you off into the abyss with that harpoon.
Back into the lair, the party is waylaid by bulettes, perytons, and something even more sinister: incompetence. Will they win their race against The John Johnson?
Probably not.
I didn’t expect to many convoluted connections. I just thought we were gonna go adventuring.
After a cataclysmic flood, our heroes have to reckon with what’s really important to them. Honor. Gold. Drugs. Will this adventure give them what they want?
Probably not.
White enamel mug emblazoned with Auntie Sybil's "profit is theft" rant from TM4 - Pt 1 - Meet the Four.
In the spirit of "profit is theft": this mug costs you $12 more than it costs us, all of which goes to directly to the designer.
Magic items. Level ups. New legend. Our heroes return triumphant from the lair and immediately prepare for the next leg of our adventure. Will they stay sober for the duration?
Probably not.
The elemental they seek is a fates-damned Xorn, gape-mouthed and hungry for gold. Will Cal give hers up to save the party?
Probably not.
A bomb has gone off, destroying a tunnel and dragging out our heroes journey into the lair by nearly a week. Will they survive the monsters, ghosts, and each other?
Probably not.
An elemental needs dispatchin’, and our heroes want to be ready. While Odion and Weevil gather critical intelligence, will Flo get a good rate on her wardrobe?
Probably not.
Members who support the show can submit NPC names for use in future arcs!