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3 trillion gold rests in the penthouse vault of l'Hotel deVue Montain. When a well-coiffed conwoman, aging tailor, radical engineer, and sentient wizard's orb learn about it, they gotta steal it, right?

Right?!

Detective Incognatio has Sir Pantaloon pressed — literally — into the shadows of a dumbwaiter. But he's mad one critical error: Sir Pantaloon is not alone. Mr. VV springs into action while Chianti gets the info they need. But will Monkey show up in time?

Probably not.

In which the crew talk about their characters and the heist!

You will never find her.

Danger abounds: A dragon’s maw. A turncoat cowboy. A tornado of gold. Old men unwilling to admit the world is changing. Will the party all make it out with their personal legends in tact?

No.

What have you gotten us into? This is your fault.

A dragon. A devil. A deal. The party finds themselves in the soggy, stolen mansion of the dragon Ripthorne. And in the middle of a millennium old standoff. Will they be able to arbitrate?

Probably not.

I think we can talk now. You got like… half a minute until I lose concentration?

Jailbreak! Our heroes have been taken captive by the Kobold Defense League and need to escape — with The John Johnson and his Merry Men in tow. Will they make it out unseen?

Probably not.

Just a little girl with grand designs…

Kobolds and mine carts and trolls! Our heroes find themselves in over their upside-down heads as they plummet deeper into the lair. Separated and forlorn, will they find their way safely back together?

Probably not.

You do that again and I will send you off into the abyss with that harpoon.

Back into the lair, the party is waylaid by bulettes, perytons, and something even more sinister: incompetence. Will they win their race against The John Johnson?

Probably not.

I didn’t expect to many convoluted connections. I just thought we were gonna go adventuring.

After a cataclysmic flood, our heroes have to reckon with what’s really important to them. Honor. Gold. Drugs. Will this adventure give them what they want?

Probably not.

White enamel mug emblazoned with Auntie Sybil's "profit is theft" rant from TM4 - Pt 1 - Meet the Four.

In the spirit of "profit is theft": this mug costs you $12 more than it costs us, all of which goes to directly to the designer.